Give me those hours of rest again
In tears that flow down your shoulder
Let me lay my head into your hands
The more it feels, it’s getting colder
Your warmth still breathes,
streams through the pen
Each word forgotten breeds more doubt
Each line – a lie one understands
When asked to close the new way out
I knew you once.. I don’t know when
Countless lifetimes before I died
I left old friends & met new ends
Just not enough to change inside
& now I dream of it again
While sinking levels deep below
The love at sight I knew back then
& the dirt of hands I’ll never know
Each phrase repeated
Was a descent
Into abyss of words
I never meant
They said I sent to hell
The one that’s heaven sent
But I didn’t lose you
I just don’t remember
where I went
N.B.
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This is immense. Dense and yet compact, and that ending is beyond heartwrenching. Eventually I’ll just pass out from all of this awesomeness!
many thanks, bro.. I appreciate it so much I can’t put it into words anymore 🙂
So perfectly incomplete. Each sentence can be the beginning of a whole new poem. I like what you did there.
sounds good to me.. 🙂 glad you caught that.. it’s kinda the mood I’m in currently.. from minimalism to literary confusion, guess I’m on the right path.. thanks, man!
Golly, bro!
You always fill your poems with several moments that I just wanna soak in.
But that ending..
“They said I sent to hell
The one that’s heaven sent
But I didn’t lose you
I just don’t remember
where I went”
So fricken clever! I wanna write like that!
Easy critique – ??
I have to admit, I did try to sound clever there… good to see the result 🙂 thanks a lot, bro!
Favorite. A very fluid well woven piece. The relationship between each stanza is musical.
thank you, it’s good to hear that 🙂