I find repetition intricately weaved into my existence,
god’s hands carefully placing stitches.
Needles, digging ditches into fragile skin
Eyes tearing holes into my soul
With cold, steel judgement.
Bare these bones of mine,
Separate my flesh from sin.
I’ve shown you all that lies within me,
How could you be so unforgiving?
while I’m starting to feel dizzy
And my life just started twisting
Into plots that end in tragedies,
Maladies, and “woe is me”s
Separate my truth from fantasies.
Everything I see can’t be real.
Reeling pain through this cycle,
My daily routine inside this hell.
Where the devil’s evil spells
Words of wickedness, instilled
Inside these brains I wish to spill.
Give me one more little pill
To take away what makes me ill.
I feel, the acid in my throat still.
Flooding my throat with words
I’d rather kill, than speak.
Exorcise the demons from my body
With the gentleness of a priest,
Wiping boyish tears off of my cheek
As I crumble with my speech.
Like it is, a necessity
To be trampled under feet.
Groveling gravel you’ll find beneath
People who laugh at my grief
When I’m reaching for relief,
Trying to coax happiness to give
Me, that one last inch I need
To grasp the life I’ve seen in dreams
Where I can run out of these seams
And won’t live inside repeat misery
Sewn into me, by god’s shivering
Again and again, this sadness is triggered.