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Attack Of The Roaches 3 (The Final Raid)

“Forget this!” He said “Enough of this roach attack.
That’s my home man, I must go and take it back!”

“That roach that bit me while I was praying to the lord.
Well that was the last straw, because now I’m declaring war!”

We stepped in the house and the coast seemed clear.
We turned on the A.C. because its mighty hot in here.

I went to the bathroom not knowing what’ll happen today.
While here I’ll fix my hair and wipe the sweat off my face.

I looked in the mirror, my handsome face I wanted to see.
But in the reflection I saw a cockroach staring back at me.

I tried to reach for the door because that was in my plan.
That’s when he flew at me and landed swiftly on my hand.

I’m getting goose bumps. He’s giving me the creeps.
Well I be dam, that nasty pest just went and bitten me!

I shook and flung him off of me knocking him against the wall.
“This ain’t the last of me!” He said, then ran quickly down the hall.

Switch scenes…another room my friend is wondering how to solve it.
Drinking a beer, “These roaches will turn me into an alcoholic.”

“I tried roach motel and the exterminator, what else to do?
I know, I’ll call a priest, he’ll help me see this through.”

The priest came over, “Hi, my name is the Pastor Slaughter.
But for you, you can call me the most holy blessed father.”

Come by sometime and see us. Hear the word, it won’t hurt.
We’re right up the street at St. Anthony Catholic church.”

“Now to these roaches…to get rid of them has gotten harder.
So I’ll pray over this place while sprinkling some of this holy water.”

He then blessed the house, “I rebuke you roaches. It’s overwith!”
But suddenly he jumped in the air while screaming out, “Oh holy s%#t!”

A cockroach crawled up his robe. He ran out the house fast as he can.
My friend said to me, “Oh well, so much for that plan.”

I said, “Well I’m hungry, let’s grab a bite to eat.
I’ll fix us both something and it’ll be all my treat.”

He went to grab a plate, “I’m so hungry I’m ready to die!”
Suddenly a cockroach flew out and bit him right above the eye!

What I saw next about ten seconds later.
A cockroach took my potato and ran under the refrigerator!

What we saw next had us both scared as hell.
Ten cockroaches came charging at us from a run-down roach motel!

My friend got scared and ran clean out of the house.
Maybe he’ll be back again, but then again, I seriously doubt.

I tried running away, but I slipped, stumbled and proceeded to fall.
At that point five more cockroaches came out from behind the wall.

While on the floor I was surrounded by a army of cockroach.
I heard what appeared to be the leader say to the others,”Get a rope!”

“You won’t get away with this! The end is coming of your rule.”
One cockroach walked up then slapped me saying, “Aaaah shut up you fool!”

“We’re gonna torture you by biting you all over the place.
Then we’re gonna insult you by leaving droppings on your face!”

“The exterminator ran us off, but now we’re back again.
We’re gonna rid all you humans and it begins with you my friend.”

“We’re gonna have the last laugh, so sucker face your doom.”
Suddenly a raid robot burst through the wall into the room.

“What the hell?” The roaches asked. I replied, “You heard of the terminator?
Well now meet your match, say hello to the roachinator.”

A roach replied, “Man what in the hell do you mean?
We have to torture you, we have no time for Halloween.”

One cockroach screamed out, “Oh my god he has a gun!”
So in every direction all the roaches proceeded to run.

My friend controled the robot, in the air raid it spray.
They all tried to run but not even one could get away.

They all started dying. I guess that’ll teach them all a lesson.
It’s crazy we had to rid them by having our own Armageddon.

You may think this all was crazy, but all I have to say is, “So.”
Think again what could happen if you stumble on a cockroach.

The End.

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6 Comments

    • Thanks bro. Glad you had fun reading it. A good laugh is good for the soul. 🙂

  1. gembone

    Hard to pass up reading with a title like that. I’m going to have to find the preludes ’cause this was fun. Betting it will rival Homer.

    • Thank you! Glad you had fun reading as this was a fun write for me. Appreciate it!

  2. I’ve really been away too long. Can’t believe I missed this one. What a finale! This might just be the best horror/comedy poem I’ve ever read!

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