wind me up
metal bones
and string for hair
–
toy tea cups
your sticks and stones
crack skin so fair
–
glass for eyes
and ink for blood
need cogs to breathe
–
pull my string
to make me sing
and sound naive
–
tinker toy
sit on the shelf
high on the wall
–
make no noise
no sense of self
appease them all
–
wind me down
break the bones
and chop the hair
–
shattered cups
stand on their own
touch if you dare
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It almost makes me think of a nursery rhyme, a dark one, but still. Great rhymes, chilling atmosphere and perfect rhythm!
Thank you, I’m glad you liked it! 🙂
good stuff
Thank you very much! 🙂
i love the way this sounds in my head
I’m glad you enjoy it! 🙂
I have to agree with my fellow writers – this really does sound like a nursery rhyme, and displays how great writing can provide more with less. Something I need to work on, myself Haha. Loved the read 🙂
Thank you for reading! I’m glad you got the vibe of it. 🙂
I found this poem a bit hard to understand until I read it completely.. Am I right in saying it is about a harmed person who can no longer express their own will? It’s how it seems to me. Tell me if I am wrong.
I really like your interpretation of it, I can understand why it’s hard to define.
You have a sense of it, yes.
But no, it’s not about that, sorry to say.
Tell me what it is about
Just found this now. I agree, it reads like a nursery rhyme. It’s good.
Thank you, I appreciate the feedback 🙂
Better late than never..
So, here I am – exploring your mind.
Your rhymes are on point.
I really enjoyed the overall flow.
And the visionary is dope.
You really get a feel for that (marionette?) on the shelf.
Excellent piece of writing, my friend.
Thank you so much, I’m glad you felt the imagery. 🙂
O wow! There is some deep, underlying meaning in this piece. When I read it , it reminded me of those characters with the dolls that have cloth heads and XX on their eyes (Korn’s “Issues” cover)
Kind of a gothic, scary undertone. But I see what you are saying in this I think.. put me on a shelf only for show with no sense of myself. Just sit there being pretty and don’t speak. Am I even close??
You’re definitely on the right track! I love hearing how others interpret and visualise what I write. 🙂
And I’m so glad that you got the eerie undertone, it’s an important piece of the puzzle.
Thank you for reading!
“pull my string to make me sing and sound naive”
we each perceive differently, ‘I’ got most of the puzzle…good delivery
Thank you so much! 🙂