Lay My Soul To Rest

L

I want to escape reality-

that might just be the reason why I lose myself in the music-

I want another shot, this time I will be completely sober

I want to go somewhere far away and let my soul speak the words that I fear, the stories that hunt me

I want to let my soul free with you and only you

For I know that with you, I need not have worries

because the ‘how much would he hate me’, ‘how much would he be ashamed and disgusted by me,’ ‘how much would he pity me and feel bad for me’, ‘how much would he laugh at me’ are things that I don’t have to concern myself with when it comes to you

I want to let it free, this agony, this terror

I want to let it free in the company of you

Carrying this with me for all these years is destroying me

Could you…

More like would you hear my story?

Let’s go somewhere far and as you drive I will let my soul sing this dreadful lullabies?

I would shed my skin and let my words come out nake

That way I wouldn’t have anywhere to run thus I would start talking – slowly, with quivery sounds, and low tones, and I somewhat inert making it difficult for you to hear me and understand me- and you would start to glean that which you think you heard and start putting the puzzle together and ascertain that the pieces that you have gathered of the puzzle are correct

The more I talk, the less shivery my voice become because after I let my soul sing the unheard mourns of her life, our life, everything would be nothing

I wouldn’t have to worry about what might happen next because we, because you, are the master of disguise and experts of dissimulation

With you, nothing ever happens.

I am breaking, again.

The already shatter segments are coming down and as they hit the floor they crash, burn, and become ember in the ashes

I am fragile

I am not as strong as I pretend to be-

everyone needs a helping hand from time to time

even me. So would you be mine just for one more drive?-

I want to share my lullabies with you for the very first and very last time.

You are that one person that I can and I am willing to break my walls so you can see what lurks deep within my shadowy mind

I am willing to do this because I trust that you will let me build them right up, no question ask.

I want to share this lullabies with you because you bear no bias and no judgment. You won’t try to find a positive side to the stories but you also won’t make it out to be more negative or dramatic than it has to be.

I want to tell you my lullabies because I am not strong enough to keep going without first letting my soul breathe

I am not!

So would you give me this last chance?

Let’s go for a drive and as you chauffer the wheel I will let my soul weep.

That last kiss for me was paradise but it was also enough

So you don’t have to worry about me and my actual feelings for you,

I was fun and painful at the same time, I am done.

Clearly, I am not but would you still take me for a drive?

You are the only one I can ask-

Can I lay my soul to rest with you tonight?

4.16.18

4am

About the author

Free.ytg
free.ytg

Just trying to find myself
In a world full of copies
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*All Rights Reserved*

2 comments

  • Excellent piece of writing!

    “I want to escape reality-

    that might just be the reason why I lose myself in the music-”

    This opening is a feeling that I think many of us can relate to.

    Well done, my friend.

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