I’m not mad

I

I’m not mad at you for moving different.

I’m mad cuz you didn’t tell me you were thinking about moving different.

I’m mad cuz you took my loyalty as a joke,

And every time I asked you to speak up you choked.

 

So then I thought,

Maybe it’s just hard

It’s not easy to tell the world of your problems.

So I let you be,

But I still checked up on you and let you know I was here if you needed me.

 

Some months went by

And still no call.

I started to wonder if you decided to end it all.

I wondered if you just didn’t want help and if life was too hard

And you decided to kill yourself…

 

I was sad.

Depressed.

Angry.

Hurt at best.

I didn’t understand how you could have a bond so strong

And then just decide to not pick up the phone when they called.

 

Like damn,

What the fuck did I do.

I did nothing more than try to love you.

I took on the world whenever you were in pain.

I always looked out,

Always asked if you’re okay.

 

And the difference between her and I,

Is that I cared.

I was always the one who was gonna be there.

And even after all these years.

I just wanted you to know,

I’m not mad.

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