The Drunk

T

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King of beast, oh hear me roar!
See my crown? Now give me more!
Why am I talking so tough?
Don’t mind me, because I’m drunk.

 

Give me beer and Seagram’s Gin.
Pop the cap. The fun begins.
Guzzle down. Oh where you’ve been?
Eyes are crossed. Did it again!

 

Turn on TV. Pastor’s on.
“Second coming won’t be long!”
Singing the “I’m guilty” song.
I repent! I’m coming home!

 

Go to church for altar call.
Fan in hand, I wave and call.
Pastor calls, but I stall.
I get up to take a fall.

 

“Holy ghost” is what they said.
Play along so I play dead.
Feel a hand upon my head.
“It’s the spirit” is being said.

 

On the floor drunk as could be.
Pull the wool? I think maybe.
Abort the plan. Got up to flee.
Cause in my pants I did pee pee!

 

Swore I’d never drink again.
Then along came my friend.
Alcohol like there’s no end.
I yell, “Woop woop it’s on again!”

 

I drink Patron, Greygoose and Gin.
Beer, Night train, Whisky and Hen.
Pass the Rose, Jack Daniels, friend.
Gulp, gulp, gulp. I’m drunk again.

 

Now I want to start a fight.
Yeah I know this isn’t right.
Feels so good. High as a kite.
Feel my arms, my strength, my might!

 

Go up to my neighbor’s yard.
Shake the fence, “Come out retard!”
“Did I say your wife’s a hog?”
Oh my damn, here comes the dog!

 

I shake and swivel. Dance and flee.
Look at me, Muhammad Ali!
Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.
Damn that dog had just bit me!

 

He rips my clothes. To ground I fall.
“I want my mama!” I now call.
I get away and climb the wall.
Pants are ripped, underwear, and all.

 

Now the moral to this story.
Don’t give alcohol the glory.
If rock bottom you have sunk.
Please do not get pissy drunk!

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