Skip to content

Epic   Fantasy   Friend   Funny   Love   Main   Nature   Other   Sorrow

God Stay My Hand

I dont know know if what Im feeling is possible
Im awash in apathetic misery
the lump of agony in my throat wont leave or disperce
crying wont cure it or even aleviate it
self destructive tendensiese are filling me
Ive never felt this sort of pain before
pain has always comforted me
i know it well and it covers me
but this is new, i cant stand it
i dont know what to do with myself
i dont think real suicide has ever felt so real
and ive tried to kill myself before
even then, not so real
this new pain is scareing me
tears come and go in a blink, Im shaking with self hatred
Why am I not ever good enough
For anyone or anything
Whats wrong with me
I need to scream
Until now Ive only wrote about it
Only now is it as real as Ive ever known
I cant stop the tremors, I cant reason with this kind of pain
I thought i was the master of all agony had to offer me
and now im crumpled and sore
ive never been so at a loss for words
nothing i can say can explain this
Im losing it, never felt so alone
I know in my core NO ONE
Has ever felt this kind of pain and survived
but i am an ark for suffering and i must
this must be surrvived
so if anyone ever feels it again they can survive
if i can make it so can you
Im so scared of what i might do to myself
Ive never felt like this before
Im so alone
God why
Please end me God, please
End me now
and there it is,
only through written word
has this unearthly pain started to subside
thank you God
only you steadied my shaking hand


Published inOther

Be First to Comment

    Leave a Reply