To the boy I hurt dearly:
I. I could see you never deserved me but that would just be an excuse for what I did. You did deserve me, and you deserved all my love.
II. My heart breaks for you over and over again every time I replay the emptiness your voice held when you shut down and away from me the night you found.
III. I tried and tried to find the right way to fight for you so that you’d stay. But every way seemed wrong.
IV. Apologies will never fix the way I hurt you and I’m foolish to ask for your forgiveness because I wouldn’t forgive you either.
V. I’m a selfish girl. Greedy for attention and affection, I crave it. I could say he gave me what you didn’t but I’d be lying because you gave me all I would ever need. I’m just the kind of person who thinks she always needs more.
VI. Don’t you dare for a second think you weren’t good enough for me. That I did this because you weren’t enough. I did this for my own ignorant reason and in no life time should you ever feel the guilt of my actions.
VII. I wish you still believed I love you because I do. I wish I had woken up before I let you down and broke your soul Because I’ve always loved you and I always will.
VIII. I miss you. And if you ever read this and get the slightest glimpse of light in your heart, please come back.
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This hits close to home. Solid write. Thank you very much for sharing such raw emotion.
You can feel the sorrow and shame as you read. Well done.