Close n’ Personal

C

I was never a big fan

Of the pain that you get in your eye

When it’s hit by sunlight,

I was never a fan of how much it exposes

Cuz’ everything is so different up close

Up close

Your eyes aren’t brilliant

Anymore, they don’t remind me

Of a sea n’ a shore

They say eyes can never lie

And yours tell a story that cold

And alone…

Up close your beauty

Is compromised

By a concoction of confusion

N’ empty promises

Up close your forehead wrinkles,

And exposes more anger than

I would like

Up close your whole demeanor

Reflects your broken life

Up close to you

I see the truth

But take comfort in your lie…

But truthfully, I never cared much

For things that would dry up

N’ wither away

For things that are vain

And would fade no,

See what bothers me

Isn’t the fact that

Your beauty and charismatic charm

Wasn’t dependent on the lines of your face

And the way your teeth smile

And the way your brows rise when you’re excited

And the twinkle you had in your eye

And that glorious downward slope

That formed your jaw line

NO, what bothers me the most

Is that up close to you

I don’t feel your energy no more

And I don’t feel safe after all

And  I don’t see promise in your eyes

And  I don’t see a future in your palms

And  I don’t hear songs on your  lips

And  I don’t feel life from your chest

And  I don’t feel courage in your breasts

And now I struggle with every breath

Because up close

You’re not the same thing you were

From afar

To me you were an object, so far

That appeared one way

But turned out to be another

You were a wolf, but you came undressed

And my own mind gave you

Your clothing

You were the dark and my imaginations

Sprinkled on some light

You were an unfinished puzzle

And I supplied you

With your last piece

And I supp-LIED to myself

To keep that warm fuzzy feeling…

I was never a big fan of sunlight.

I was never a fan of the truth that lies hide behind.

I was never a big fan of my own mind.

I was always afraid to look past my eyes n’ see what  I would find.

Cuz’ I was close to you

And personally

I would’ve preferred right

From the beginning

To know the truth

Now you’ve got me here

Scared as hell to uncover

Your secrets that I spotted

From afar

But didn’t care to believe

‘Till you got too close…

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