Lonely, But Not Alone

Here today,
gone tomorrow,
life is but a vapor,
sure there’s beauty,
but there’s much more sorrow,
love like parchment paper.

And we are all tired of being hurt
and hurting others,
but it doesn’t have to be that way
you know?

So I guess I will sit in amaze
in the soft summer haze
and eat Meditterranean food

(that was a typo… and actually intentional.
I learned that from the Queen…
Intentional typos… Quite splendid indeed)

Anyway…

Where was I?

Oh yes… The soft summer haze
Eh hem…

So I will sit in amaze
at the soft summer haze
and gaze
into the glow
of a distant light.

Yes, I sit
gazing into the glow
of a distant light,
soon to be swallowed up
by the waning twilight,
just beyond the dead of yester-night,
void of any signs of light,
almost like
the darkest night
that I have ever known,
and I shall wander through forest,
field and stream
lonely, but not alone.

Okay maybe not fields,
or even streams,
but definitely through a fairy tale forest
of unfulfilled dreams
where shadows conceal
and desires reveal
an all too familiar cry,
or unbroken seal,
and though I know the shadows,
shall soon too fall,
still, my soul cries out
that your heart
might heed the call
from the other side
of the wretched veil
that seperates my heart
from yours.

But unfortunately
the harsh reality
is that you coexist
in two different worlds…

The first is my dreams,
a fantasy
or fairy tale of sorts,
in which happy endings
really do exist,
and the second
your reality,
the realm in which
happy endings
sink beneath a horizon of despair
as often as
the setting sun…

because we all know that
life only has happy endings
in fairy tales my friend.

So years ago
I resign
to wander
through this fairy tale forest
in search of a breech
in the horizon
that I may
find my happy ending

Eventually I arrived
at an open glade,
where trees fell away,
revealing the bespeckled sky,
and the last few remaining stars,
shimmered in the distant sky,
like silver pinholes,
and sparred with the fading moon
that hung quietly in the distance,
for the right
to cast their gilded sheen
over the forest trees.

So I sat down,
heart in hand
and leaned against
a lightning blasted tree trunk,
to watch my heart fade away
in the symphony
of the lonely,
but not alone.

Because loneliness
isn’t contingent
upon being around others,
it is contingent
upon deep connection.

And then…
as if right on cue,
a solitary bluebird erupted
from a cloister of trees,
and joined my soul
in sadness
and my heart
in the symphony of the lonely,
but not alone.

The bluebird sang
a sorrowed song,
or actually,
it was more like
a heart haunting melody,
that was somehow soothing,
like an elixir for the soul,
but I imagined,
it was much less soothing
than your sap sweet fragrance
that I hoped would soon fill the forest,
and wash over me,
seducing my heart and soul
by your comforting goodness.

Yes, in your heart,
my soul beheld,
that my thirst
may soon be quelled,
as I linger here
in your life,
and gaze beyond
the darkest night
that I have ever known
in this fairy tale forest
I shall sit and wait,
lonely
but not alone.

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