“Control”

I am not in control of my body

Maybe because my mind sings sorrowful tunes

Which my body waltzes through life by

I lose my mind to the urges of my body

Which commands authority of my mind

I know it’s confusing, confounding

Never really understanding why

I engrave stories into my skin

And the only reason I seem to give is

Sadness

I am living in a nightmare

Seemingly always in a loop

No matter how much I plea

I am not in control of my life

Hesitation is a constant reminder that

I am not good enough

That I need control

I dip my mind in truth till it is

Numb with lies

While I baptize myself in a sea of

Deadly imagination

The wretched song that my mind will never stop singing

The hollow tune which lingers in my trembling body

The mess that I call myself.

Still through the poetry

I scream for help

Yet it seems the louder I scream,

The more the sunlight seeps back till I can no longer see myself

I am oblivious to my own sadness

But you see, the terrible truth is,

I am not in control of me.

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