The starvin’ artist
surrenders to his vocabulary
His ink is drownin’ in paper,
a mirrored adversary
Quick to inflict an infection
with spoken words of venom
He writes of love and betrayal,
two of the harshest weapons
Settin’ deterrence aside
he spits atomic verses
a split second omission
rattles demolished churches
A group of worshipers curse him
for disruptin’ the service
in service of his ascendance,
he rages on:
“Be amazed
by the fly and the boom bap!
Raidin’ the doom patrol,
got control of my groove back
“Competition’s afloat,
known to gloat since the womb sack
Selfish about the fire,
rob the ash for the fumes back!”
Critics were quick to answer:
“Yo you used ‘back’ twice – we noticed!
We dig the cadence and the ice
but don’t limit your focus!”
He fights the urge for inspiration
by smokin’ the lotus
up to the task to impress
’cause the people have spoken:
“Siphon the honey from bees
all while I’m eavesdroppin’
Verses are planned last minute
like Christmas eve shoppin’
“An up-and-comin’ good-for-nothin’s
got an ear for it
I’m writin’ raps on a napkin
You’re standin’ clear –
yet astounded
by the fly and the boom bap!
A genius in the makin’
quite correct to assume that
“Consume my written verses,
more nutritious than food wraps
Ya name is now behind bars
tighter than screw caps!”
He cracked a smile, and his style answered back.
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you know, I noticed something about your work.. every time you post one of your pieces, there’s a long wait before the first comment’s been posted since everyone’s in awe for a while after reading.. no i’m not joking, I noticed that a long time ago.. it’s always been so.. fuck the critics, this is golden 😉
Très humbled to have such amazing support, my friend 🙂 Thanks for checking this out! Looking to bring some fun on here again!
I want to hear this with music now! The rhythm is killer in this poem and the language is fantastic. “Selfish about the fire, rob the ash for the fumes back!” Love those lines!
Yes I’m so glad you’re a fan of the flow, brother! Thanks for checking this piece out – and between me and you, that line just happens to be my favorite from this piece 🙂 Thanks again!
Damn, Broski!
You know I’m the biggest lover of lyrical wordplay on this site..
And this piece was full of it!
However, my favorite part was the segment where they noticed you used “back twice”.
I’m such a huge critic of overusing word’s in my poem’s.
And you took that poet leave right out of my mind.
I’m rambling.. This was dope! 🔥🔥
Hey man, your use for repetition is in service to the story, not because you’ve run out of words to rhyme with the preceding stanza 🙂 So it’s creator’s choice – you use it effectively! But I do want to thank you for checking this piece out! I wanted to add a little tongue-in-cheek humour through that self-aware line. Thanks again bro!
this is just outstanding. love it. such energy! honest to god it reminds me of the old 40’s swing
Wow thanks so much for the review 🙂 so glad you enjoyed it to that level!
Thank you for this nutritious, healthy meal you provided for my hungry mind! I was starving for something good to read, now I’m satisfied xD
Haha well I’m certainly glad to have served up something satisfying for you. Definitely had some fun with this one 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Got a rhythm to it & clever wordplay. Lyrical & rap at the same time.
Glad to see that you picked up on that, my friend. Much appreciated!
Everything you do, you do good. You never lose your balance, you just pretend to. I love the sounds, of course and the structure.
The illustration is on point and the last line is just a perfect conclusion.
This is flawless poetry.
Kadda, what would I do without you, brother? This is humbling. I’ve learned over the years to be grateful for such compliments, and so I thank you for amazing words and continued support!
This was such a great read! Thanks for sharing 🙂 I love the last line x
Thanks for reading, my friend 🙂
Whole piece was art!
Last line was just the icing on that nice fat moist double decker chocolate extravaganza!
Thank you kindly, Adrift!
I definitely had some fun with this one! 🙂
Just want to add my two cents… that was great!
Thanks so much 🙂