Sinner

Thank you for all the emails,

that don’t even ask how I am.

Thanks for the once a year phone call,

where you pretend to care about me.

Appreciate the visits every ten years.

where you don’t even come to see me.

Much obliged for the times you did,

especially for the awkward silence.

 

I am to be merciful and forgiving.

Even though I want to hurt you.

Rip your tongue from your throat.

You’ll never be able to confess again.

I wish I could start to begin,

never was given the chance to defend.

This was never anyone’s fault,

except for the corpse in the coffin.

 

Where the hell were you!?

I needed you the most.

Left me when you were meant to be.

And I know that “god” is in your title,

but must you always look at me,

like I’m some filthy sinner?

You swore your duty.

In the absence of a father,

an absence of a son,

you’d watch me grow up.

 

Stand in, protect me, be my father.

Love me, want me, be my mother.

Oh, you always call me by another.

And I want to hate you,

you were ever there,

just a preacher at a pulpit.

Well, maybe I don’t need you.

I can find my own daddy,

he buys me so many pretty things.

Tells me the world is mine.

This time, I’m not terrified.

Call me a sinner, I want Hell.

We can burn together,

for all eternity. 

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