Many people don’t understand true pain
Some think it’s when you break your bones
Others think it’s when your “love of your life” leaves for good
Sure those hurt a lot
But nothing compares to the feeling of wanting to die
You could be fine one minute, but the next is unbearable
You start hearing this voice in your head telling you over and over
“You’re worthless! Everyone hates you! Whore!”
These are just some of the things I hear constantly
Of course you deny it at first and pretend they don’t know what they are talking about
Until you hear it day after day
Week after week
Year after year
It buries itself deep inside your skin till you finally believe it yourself
So people think you’re just being dramatic or think it’s what everyone thinks
That’s when a new idea came
“No one cares or notices…”
I’ve had these thoughts since 7th grade
And I know there are people you had this longer, but I’m starting to lose hope
Writing these poems and listening to music is what keeps me sane
Does anyone else feel like this?
I hope not cause it sucks
Even some of the things that would make me happy don’t anymore
It’s hurts so badly
Burns like fire
To the point where I wish I could leave forever
But that wouldn’t be fair to anyone else
I don’t want someone thinking I’m doing this cause of them or what they think they did
I promised everyone I getting better everyday and I plan on keeping it
Even though I feel like dying
I’m going to keep fighting
I won’t give up
Never have
And never will
I’m Just Fake
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I hear those voices. Over time, all of us, and I mean all, develop different “I”s. I think it’s sort of a coping mechanism…the brain has a tough time processing it all. I write poetry for the exact same reason, as a sort of release. You are very courageous…there are many heroes such as you. All I can say to the poet “I”is continue to fight for dominance. And KEEP WRITING.
Yeah, yeah stuff in my head all the time, and yes trying to do something with it , writing this stuff does help, try to balance look at the good, picture myself in some one else’s shoes, etc.I always return to my own self-pity, jealous thoughts however. I guess it’s being humble. Only human. There’s a lot of things that go down that really blow my mind, so I just have to say it’s part of being a person.
Oml girl! You are amazing at writing poems, and just amazing in general. I am so proud of you! Keep writing Panda! I am so lucky to have you as a friend!!
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE