for the way things are

…

I don’t regret

but I still struggle with

’cause I ain’t done with it yet

 

a life I’m still denied

due to the boundaries I’ve set

 

& you wandered upon that road

No warning – a few signs, maybe

that I didn’t get

 

How far would you have come

Before its mirage could decept

Should I have let you get this far

In fear that you could not accept

 

& worst of all, should I have known

Right from the start

Upon the waves, not ground

We stepped

 

The question is,

Should I have told?

 

While trapped, inside my painted walls

Of veils of dark I once caressed

Escaping beauty I’d behold

Forget the ill-starred, slay the blessed

 

Should I have let you know before?

Of cells I built to stay depressed

Where daylight brings a frozen smile

& hours of sleep breed unrest

 

& even worse,

Would you have stayed?

Beneath my sky, still ask for more?

 

More thin lines that define our world

The sweet, the ugly, worst & best

 

Would you confide

While being aware:

I’m neither,

Just a breathing mess

 

A reckless ride,

I’ve led us there

The end is no more but a guess

 

I’ve called the tide

Seas of despair

With every day I become less

 

A touch of love

A night of stress

A day without –

mere nothingness

 

but if I’d done

what seemed so right

I fear, despite all,

You’d say yes

 

N.B.

• a bit of rawness for a change. I may be onto something here.

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