perception/reality another duality

Im a happy, sappy mushroom
and i wrote this because i love you
forget it if its untrue
go with it if it touched you

If its unstable, flip the table
start over, write a new fable

I write what i feel
ill spare you the spiel
i know that you are real
i know you can heal

forgive yourself, forgive everyone else
break down the shelf, let the contents melt
think about how better weather felt
thank the sun, don’t pay too much mind when hail pelts

There’s the lighthearted preface
But there’s a reason I wore a goat headed necklace

I’d like to feel like inside my head was a good place to be
I’d like to feel like I had a place in space without blazing tree
I’d like to feel I could heal quicker
I’d like to feel accomplished without a fucking sticker
I’d like to feel like my heart was telling my mouth what to say
I’d like a lot of every drug neatly sorted by chemical name and labeled by atomic structure
I see heaven and hell the same, I’m a neurotic semi-conductor
I’d like to feel like I wasn’t waiting for the ground to rupture
i feel like I’m counting precious seconds before shattering reality
I feel like the devil if he had an angel on his shoulder
I feel like it was mostly lies I told her
I feel like I’ll feel like this, even when I’m older
I feel completely over my last companion,
But I can’t look past the memories so I re re re reexamine
I feel like I’m volatile, made of lighting, beautiful in a way, and powerful, but I only exist when I’m striking
I feel like I have to prove I exist by fighting
I feel like if I remove the fist I’ll start biting
I feel so much energy, I might sing
A gift and a curse, a crocodile purse,
Made of a monsters hide, carried in stride
Locked in a cage at first, then eventually you weasel your way in with pride
Then it teaches you to fear the worst
If I keep keeping it in my heart will burst
I named myself “young hellion” if that’s not telling I’ll tell I see my soul as a stormy sea I’m sailing
I just like hellion maybe I’ve lost my youth
I don’t much care if it’s ascending or descending, I just want movement to tell my truth
Probably better to ascend, in the end
Funnily enough, can only tell directions
when my senses blend
Ask me why I don’t take the medicine
I like riding whatever wave my head is in
A meteor showed me the door
So now I know
Where all the fences end

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