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zombie

So many thoughts, only a few become verses
I write em down when my fate just reverses
course of my life, thing that became worse is
how things unfold- from blessings to curses.

 

Don’t know what to do, the sky is blackening
Shit’s fastening; why the fuck it’s happening
now? Fucking don’t know how to keep pennin’
when my life’s trepannin’ me using a javelin?

 

Life’s a tangled mess, I write to make it simplify
I can do many things but I am timid and shy
But I write things brazen-faced, I wonder why
I am wired like this, Shit! what the fuck am I?

 

I’m a zombie- dead inside & that I can abide
Nobody knows how much pain I’ve inside
I fake smiles but the sadness that resides
in my heart hinders me from making strides

 

I’m a disgrace to myself, wish I could erase
every memory I ever made, don’t wanna face
them again, in front of me, I see many ways
I move on but I find myself in the same place

 

When I’m with my friends, I’m not with them
Memories come back & my mind goes to some
place far away and it keeps on traveling from
one place to another nonstop until I hit a hump

 

Feels like I’m in the hell, don’t know what to do
when I get the fever but there’s no feverfew
Looked in the mirror, asked myself- me or you?
My silence broke the mirror and I broke too

 

Why do I act weird all the time? No clues!
I got no answers; I stood there without a clue
Don’t know how much of this is really true
For once I want someone to walk in my shoes

 

I’m a stranger to myself, now I’m in a cyclone
I’m still scared to step out of my comfort zone
I pushed away people who cared, I’m a moron
Life has gone awry- I’m weak, broken & alone

 

It took some time to realize that even I’m gone
No more I’ll condone my actions, fate has shown
me all the mistakes I made, won’t moan or groan
Now am on my own, ready to fight the unknown

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