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Surrender (2)

The support of friends and family,
Laughter among friends and family,
The respect of colleagues, associates,
The contributions to community –
The way was clear
And paved with confidence.

Almost a satisfaction – yes, more or less.
But when the night
Befell, struck him,
lit up long-neglected rooms,
Revealed he’d been lonely all along,
A loneliness no person could dispel.
Layers of pleasure had veiled piercing wounds,
Pride making light of the dubious and stains,
Motivations not admirable as he once had thought,
Wretchedness embedded
Within laughter and confidence,
Satisfaction, or its distant cousin,
Within self-disgust.

For all the prior confidence and sense of purpose,
For all the prior praise of friends and colleagues,
There was no hope
Inasmuch as he was unaware.
But the night, stark and bare,
Was the lord’s brilliance he couldn’t bear,
Blinding him.
No open door through which he could flee,
No one, nothing to turn to, and aridity –
This hopelessness, true hope,
Emptying of impurity,
Strength and splendour unfolding
Within nakedness and humility.

Published inMain

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