Here I am again

Here I am again

Putting my heartbreak on a page

Writing it out in pen

I wonder day to day

What it is about myself

That makes them walk away

This last one has really stung

Has really cut deep

 We talked for so long

And held each other longer

It felt like dancing in the sun

And then one day

He’s gone

No word, no trace

No last embrace

Just gone

A cold wind that’s cold

Cold enough to slow the pitter-patter

Of my heartbeat

No explanation

No apology

Maybe I scared him off

Step too close to a crow

And they fly away

Felt too much too soon

When my heart filled like a balloon

Said too much too

Maybe it’s my size

Maybe its not

Even though I thought I was beautiful

In that dress

With him

Dancing that one night

Maybe it’s none of those things

I simply wasn’t the one for him

Not the one

Not enough

And to me, this came as no surprise

I expect the same ending every time

To be thrown away

Left to dust

They come for a moment

Make promises

Tell me beautiful lies

Then disappear

Quitely like a ghost

But detrimental like a storm

Or they say that I am good

Just not good enough

Or too good for them to love

Like a postcard

With no receiver

Forever sent to the next

No destination

That’s what I expected from this last one too

But I let my hopes take flight

Dropped my shield

Many people preached he was good

Claimed he was kind

Thought he was caring

But he wasn’t any better than the rest

So this is it for now?

Tucking hope away

Locking the door

Again

I will wait for God to send someone to me

Wait for him to unlock the door

Leave him in charge

If there is ever someone to send

If there ever is

 

 

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