our blades

in a universe full of fruits, where knives hid behind the peel.
you came into my life, together we revealed our knives.
you tell me to trust you. we shared our pain and sorrow,
together we bond to heal. I trusted you with my peel.
I want to be as sweet as an apple or a pear,
but never as bitter as a raisin nor a beer.
as soft and gentle as a banana,
but not as hard and rough as a guava.
“I want to change” I confess.
I don’t want to be a harm, nor a mess.
you said you relate.
for you, I thought I’d wait.
but your words never seem to match what you do.
you said you’d never hurt me, yet you made me feel blue.
cuts began to appear; I asked you to cease.
“please, let go of my peel.”
you said you understand the feeling.
you apologize once again.
wounds increasing, never ceasing.
you plead for forgiveness, I give in
you say you love me, but it felt hard to believe.
my peel, you could never leave.
I cried out, “let go of me!”
in response, you shuddered in fear.
you call it an addiction, one that’s hard to break.
once again, I forgave. your words didn’t feel fake.
little did I know, you were a snake.
forgiveness never seemed to awake.
cuts getting deeper, exposing my core.
leaving my juice drip beneath me. you left me sore.
my pleads, you always ignored.
my blade, you left exposed.
I’ve had enough, I lashed at you, slicing your peel.
my reaction, you never approved.
you cried out loud as you pointed.
eyes stared. suspicions took root, never removed.
whispers grew, the more they grew
the more you smiled, growing into a chilling grin
you felt comfort in my discomfort
yet, for you I stayed.
I let you touch me, I let you lean against me.
told no one how you cut me, told no one how you caressed me.
my seeds left touched, my space invalidated.
I let you do so much. but for you it never mattered.
when I complained, you never cared.
for my juice you craved, for my discomfort you pleaded.
in silence, I stayed. all the pain swallowed.
the pain felt more than a million cuts you could ever give.
you let yourself play the victim, you let others step on me.
you loved the attention, both the good and the bad.
yet, you only received the one you were undeserving of.
I was hoping one day, you’d have enough.
your cuts proved that I’ve misunderstood.
you cut me through my gut,
my blade peeked out; I stab you back
you once again, cry out loud.
my harm in display, but never my dismay.
you tell the other fruits what I’ve done, for you it must have been fun.
never confessing your faults, like a mature adult.
yet, you still craved for my forgiveness
my hatred for you has grown.
you made me grow into the person I was before.
the person I’ve always despised.
the person that has always been despised.
and you still wanted me back, how pathetic.

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