Cursed

 

Some things take years to learn

Boundaries set from soft to firm

Likes, dislikes, wants, and loves

Giving small gifts simply because

Each task leaving a small mark

On each others beating heart

All this and a very much more

All are waiting for you in store

 

Or that’s supposed to be the story

Of a time in my life so damn blurry

I can barely see a few minutes ahead

Let alone years upon years instead

My boring life filled with uncertainty

About what to do, and who I am to be

Yet no matter what I do, or where I go

There is more that I wish I could know

 

You know my emotions big and small

You know that I can’t contain them all

And that I feel so strongly and deeply

My ability to love so utterly completely

Controlled by something deep inside

In parts that I would much rather hide

Parts of me that are always in conflict

That puts me through so much bullshit

 

Leading me through each new love spell

Knowing it is its own special type of hell

Feelings constantly going up and down

Feelings so deep, I think that I’ll drown

So what is it that I am trying to say

Is to say that I am really not that okay

For I don’t know which way to choose

For each and every way, I tend to lose

 

Do I choose to go, or choose to stay

God, there has to be a different way

I feel as if a  dice of many different sides

Seems to control the ever rising tides

It feels as if I’m always losing my mind

I wish I didn’t have to lose in order to find

It is as if this life really is all rehearsed

And that I’m really just eternally cursed

 

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