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The Drunk

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King of beast, oh hear me roar!
See my crown? Now give me more!
Why am I talking so tough?
Don’t mind me, because I’m drunk.


Give me beer and Seagram’s Gin.
Pop the cap. The fun begins.
Guzzle down. Oh where you’ve been?
Eyes are crossed. Did it again!


Turn on TV. Pastor’s on.
“Second coming won’t be long!”
Singing the “I’m guilty” song.
I repent! I’m coming home!


Go to church for altar call.
Fan in hand, I wave and call.
Pastor calls, but I stall.
I get up to take a fall.


“Holy ghost” is what they said.
Play along so I play dead.
Feel a hand upon my head.
“It’s the spirit” is being said.


On the floor drunk as could be.
Pull the wool? I think maybe.
Abort the plan. Got up to flee.
Cause in my pants I did pee pee!


Swore I’d never drink again.
Then along came my friend.
Alcohol like there’s no end.
I yell, “Woop woop it’s on again!”


I drink Patron, Greygoose and Gin.
Beer, Night train, Whisky and Hen.
Pass the Rose, Jack Daniels, friend.
Gulp, gulp, gulp. I’m drunk again.


Now I want to start a fight.
Yeah I know this isn’t right.
Feels so good. High as a kite.
Feel my arms, my strength, my might!


Go up to my neighbor’s yard.
Shake the fence, “Come out retard!”
“Did I say your wife’s a hog?”
Oh my damn, here comes the dog!


I shake and swivel. Dance and flee.
Look at me, Muhammad Ali!
Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.
Damn that dog had just bit me!


He rips my clothes. To ground I fall.
“I want my mama!” I now call.
I get away and climb the wall.
Pants are ripped, underwear, and all.


Now the moral to this story.
Don’t give alcohol the glory.
If rock bottom you have sunk.
Please do not get pissy drunk!

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  1. I could never imagine getting as drunk as this LOL but boy do you make that narrative so real. Another ace write, my friend!

    • Well I have gotten that drunk before and never will again. The hangover was horrible and didn’t remember much of anything. That was the good ole days. lol

  2. You really know how to have fun with your poetry Jarid! I loved every second of this!

  3. Just had to say, I tried both Thunderbird and Nightrain many years ago. Never again. Funny read with actually quite a moral to it.

    • Thank you Robt. Right, I wanted to make a point across in a humorous way. Glad you picked up on that. Thanks for reading!

  4. Well written depicting what goes on.
    My loved family member is caught in this web.
    I pray for her deliverance.

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