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A poem written by shaky hands

A poem written by shaky hands

My dreams haunt me in my waking slumber
I dig my nails in my skin to see if this is my reality
If it hurts then it must be
But it doesn’t hurt

I cannot have a restful sleep for whenever I close my eyes I see the sun in his
The deep chocolate eyes that have chained me to him
I can not let go

I wish for my angel to save me from my catastrophic ends
My awful personality that seems to attract tragedy
I do not understand this magnetism
I only know I have monsters living within my rib cages

They are not caged they roam free as I rest my head to my pillow
I feel cold even under the blanket
I feel sad even in his arms

There are voices that race past my mind
They tell me I am not good enough nor will I ever be
They whisper these sweet nothings into my ears as I bring the blade against my wrist once again
Some days I can ignore than but most days I can not
Their words rot my brain , everything is dark

It’s an everyday battle of whether I can ignore the white flashes of anger that fill me up to the brim
I swing my fists at nothing in particular just hoping for one connection
I do not understand my anger
I only know this monster is evolved

I hope one day I can sleep without my chest tearing apart
Without my head being filled with blackness
Without awaking to blood on my arms and tears in my eyes
But I have a tragic soul
And I attract the demons of the soul
I hope I can feel the sun today

Published inMain

One Comment

  1. Well written.
    This feeling is the worst, but you described it so eloquently.

    Thanks for sharing.

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