Once upon an obscure dream
A state so paranoid
The void spoke to me through smoke
& I spoke to the void
& its silence sang a song
But the sound was too loud
An electric screeching that
longed planets to enshroud
It might have been the creator
The man with long white beard
The only person which our parents
more than we did, feared
It might have been the pilgrim
In a hippie universe
Just an old man, that all day
repeated the same verse
It might have been me
Or someone even worse
I tried to talk to shadows
But they all seemed like me
Hidden, silent, always something
they don’t want to be
It’s not about desire
But we all want things wrong
It’s not about how we dream
But what for do we long
We just need another color
When in one we drown
We just need better than best
& that’s what takes us down
When we look for only a smile
What do we do? Frown
For the terror of unknown
& the weight of a crown
I tried to talk to the living
But they buried me
Beneath a long gone cover
Of faded destiny
Then I tried to find my heart
But it had been destroyed
Maybe there’s nothing in life
but to talk with the void
N.B.
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Holy Sh*t!
Dude, this is one of your best.
Hands down, the most thought provoking piece I’ve read in a long time.
“It’s not about desire
But we all want things wrong
It’s not about how we dream
But what for do we long”
This verse has so much 🔥🔥🔥.
The entire piece, especially the concept of the void, is just remarkable.
Damn..
I don’t know how this happened.. it’s weird.. i just wrote it.. & I’m still analyzing.. thanks for the support, bro.. means everything 😀
Boy this was good. I hate to think it, but sometimes it seems like there is nothing but the “void”
scary, isn’t it? thanks for the review.. glad you liked it 🙂
That void is the only company I have sometimes, and yet it suffices. Great write Nebojsa!
glad you can relate.. it’s not so bad as it sounds.. thank you 🙂
Yeah, you took the concept of nothingness and paradoxically the most weighted aspect of your entire piece. That’s brilliance. That’s undeniable talent. Truly one of your best. Wow.
thanks bro.. it was a strange experience writing it, but I can’t say I didn’t like it in the end.. 🙂
I love how this all tied together so beautifully at the end. Honestly. It’s such a deep though. I also like how you personified the void, how you gave it different faces. For me, the void is nothing but a darkness, an ominous darkness. Ever-consuming. A bottomless depth that will tear the very flesh from your bones if you get too close. To think that that void is the only thing left for me at the end…. that’s a terrifying thought. Absolutely a thought-provoking piece. It left me a little afraid, but that’s how you know it’s good. (My apologies for such a long comment).
“A bottomless depth that will tear the very flesh from your bones if you get too close”.. well, that certainly adds a new dimension to the thought that there could be nothing left but the void.. terrifying indeed.. thank you so much 🙂 (I love long comments :D)
Great lines, I had to re-read to savor it. TFS
thanks for reading 🙂
Nothing to throw away here, I like how you deal with spirituality and the rythm once again is hypnotic. Bravo
you’re the greatest.. thanks so much