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Two Plums on a Thursday

starvation has its perks
illness can be rewarding
after two weeks of water and shame
i cave in and come back to reality
biting into a plum after a fortnight of self punishment
oh god
i would trade my soul for that flavor
that emotion
that moment of pure fulfillment
i felt alive and well for the first time in months
i ate two plums
and i felt like a whore
no standards, only that urge
an addict
(as if needing to eat is an addiction)
i felt weak and disgusting
i erased the plums
and i felt worse
and i cried
and that was my Thursday
thanks for asking

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