That’s a difficult statement
for me t’openly admit.
There are so many different
sets of eyes – that are on me
at all times.
It’s mind blowin’ the potential
of people that this admission
could possibly hit.
But, it’s true.
With the exception of very few,
I’m scared of the way that other’s
may perceive me.
At times I enter rooms with this
internal fear of the way in which
they might receive me.
Shit’s scary as fk.
Best believe me.
It’s like that feelin’ of being caught
with my pants around my ankles
while I’m tryin’ t’relieve me.
Every time my pen hits that paper,
I’m terrified of what the people
that know me are goin’ t’think.
I worry about whom I’m gonna
offend this time – when I push
my emotions towards the brink.
It wouldn’t be the first time that
I’ve been told to stop writin’ ‘n
take my “pitiful soundin” ass
to see a f’kin shrink.
Absolutely petrified t’relive some
moments of my troublesome past.
I know – the past is the past – BUT
these painful feelin’s that I harbor –
they last ‘n they last.
I take three steps forward – only t’be
thrown all the way back, hella fast.
I apologize t’those that sometimes
find my outbursts difficult t’grasp.
When the truth finally comes out,
I fear that many of y’all are gonna
look at me – in a different light.
Right now, y’say you won’t.
I know there’s a possibility that y’might.
And that possibility has kept me awake
night, after night, after tear-filled night.