Christmas dinner
After the turkey and brandy-buttered pud,
A glass of punch, a mince pie, and the cake,
With tangerines and nuts, just as one should.
After the turkey and brandy-buttered pud,
Biscuits and cheese with port would seem quite good.
But would you credit? I’ve got the belly-ache
After the turkey and brandy-buttered pud,
A glass of punch, a mince pie, and the cake!
***************
The insomniac spouse’s complaint
I’ve been awake since half past two;
If only I could sleep
Instead of brooding, as I do,
“I’ve been awake since half past two.”
If only I could be like you
And snore in slumber deep.
I’ve been awake since half past two!
If only I could sleep!
***************
The power of a word
Unthinkingly just now you said “my love”;
I made no sign, as if I hadn’t heard,
But now my heart is soaring high above.
Unthinkingly just now you said “my love”;
I’m all a-flutter like a turtle-dove
To think perhaps you didn’t use that word
Unthinkingly. Just now you said “my love”;
I made no sign. As if I hadn’t heard!
***************
(“Trains into and out of Waterloo are subject to delay
because of a body on the line at Basingstoke”
– railway station notice)
A body on the line at Basingstoke
Has caused an inconvenient delay.
– Unless it’s just a rather tasteless joke
(A body on the line at Basingstoke!)
What pain could make an ordinary bloke
Do himself in? It’s just another day.
A body on the line at Basingstoke
Has caused an inconvenient delay.
