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Anhedonia

When anguish is all I have left
I dare not give it up;
for to do that would be to
sink into the darkness of nothingness.
Pain gives clarity:
darkness unobstructed by light.
In such a place
all the questions go quiet.
The voices, the indigo music, and the
keening of Van Gogh’s stars
fade into the darkness,
and I sit with myself as with a stranger.
I embrace the exquisite agony:
clutching my past to my soul
like a precious child;
willing to die to protect it.

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