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i stick them out in front of me quickly
they feel stiff…god they’re stiff
i start the scan at my wrists
and with horror
i let my eyes travel
to the crook of my elbow
and i twist my arm
to see up to my shoulder

lattice cuts
thin, compact lattice cuts
from the wrist all the way up the inside of my arm…
some old, faded scars
others so new that when i bend my arm
they crack and bleed

purple, yellow, green, blue
some uniform round circles
others totally asymettircal
adorn the cuts like some sort
of cruel, mock backdrop

and then
the hole
the hole made by an iv
the bruises around this are

these aren’t arms
these are…horrendous
please tell me these attrocities
don’t belong to me
they have to belong to someone else

and my heart sinks
as i can feel these
depression’s arms
attached to my

and i bend them
so the hands on the end
can conver my eyes
because i don’t want to cry
but i can’t help it…
can’t supress them

as i realize
no one will ever want…
to touch
screw that!
even be able to look at

who will ever be able to love me?