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daily struggle

a day to myself
maybe it could actually help
no calls
no emails
volume up so i can hear no one else
my mind is anywhere but where i sit
racing thoughts, it would take hours to sort through all of it
just sit back
keep doing what your doing, you might relax
deap breath
its ok to be upset
clear your mind
don’t put yourself in a bind
attitudes around you
just ignore today is for you
write your way through
just disregaurd it as they have no clue
there worrying you didn’t tell them
its ok just one day, you’ll be back again
time goes on
you start to run out of projects to work on
just write it out now
stop asking how
they accepted you
so accept that fact
stop relying on a new act
so frustraiting
why can’t you just say it
*sigh*
you know why
sit and think
look at whats behind you, don’t blink
see the pain
drives you insane
you don’t want to trust
if you ever did, the result…ambush
you were abused
you hate it but thats your excuse
theres what happend
then theres the effects
i’m almost 17
and that pain is just comeing to an end….sounds almost like a dream
but it happend….to me
now i all ever hear is
how do you feel today
you know everythings going to be ok
talk to me
now we need this for the lead
we will find them
you we will defend
why would she do that
look at how she acts
how are you not messed up
do you have the guts
all these questions
i don’t need the effection
this is how i grew up
i don’t need a pick-me-up
i deal with these things everyday
and i don’t need everyone to tell me that it will be ok
i know it will
i have skill
i will push on
i thought i cleared that up earlier on
just give me today
before i just walk away

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