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I Abuse Myself

I don’t like to think

Mother’s love wasn’t enough

But it couldn’t keep

Life from being like the sea’s rush

I thought to myself

I’ll create where I will drown

Like abstract art work

Made from the ocean’s ground

The pain is like Heaven

It is inspiration

Indulging in the misery I felt

I abuse myself

Like a mesochist

I thrive on insanity

When there’s a wild fire

I love skies of burgandy

I’m not a cutter

But I let my heart get bruised

My heart’s first deep bruise

Is still my memorable muse

The pain is like Heaven

It is inspiration

Indulging in the misery I felt

I abuse myself

I sabotage romance

When my heart wants to dance

Is it self-destructive behavior

When I deny myself any savior?

The pain is like Heaven

It is inspiration

Indulging in the misery I felt

I abuse myself.

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