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one last chance

why does it seem my efforts are wasted
and my temper continuously tested
if in this life i stand on top
why is these lessons i have seem to have forgotton
y does it seem i never have my moments
that it seems to end is some kind of distruction
I’M NOT THAT SAME LITTLE GIRL
that was pushed around so many times before
i have come to understand that this is my life
and the words i speak are my right
i’ve reached a point where i don’t know what to say
or even know how i’m gonna make it to the next day
i’m drifting away in my mind
i don’t know the way or what i may find
there are so many days i wish i could just say no
and find somewhere that is only mine to go
i’ve held in so much of my pain
and now it is reflected in these words i am saying
i wish i could just SCREAM
though no relief that would bring
at this moment i am alone
and the true me is being shown
i do not know exactly who i am
but at my age no one expects that i can
i’ve been doubted so many years
and have cried way to many tears
i need days where i am locked away in my room
people worry, but really they just have no clue
i need to believe in myself
but i don’t know how, after all the rejection i have felt
i’m tired of playing this game
who is going to be the favortie to day
i’m sorry mom
that i am not who you wanted, that i do not belong
i’ve not spoken to you in now over a week
all you ever wanted was for me to speak
i have had dreams
yet you have always seemed to take them away from me
i have a new dream
one that in time you may see
i need you for once to let go of me
you signed me away
the truth of our past lays in the expression upon your face
truth has finally been spoken
yet still you say it never happend
i need you to understand
that i have done all that i can
when you are ready to treat me as an actual human
then i will start over again
you know where to find me
so when your ready speak to me…

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