At 8pm last night
the bloody telephone rang
so i wiped off my mouth
set aside my tikka lamb rendang
Then i got my tired arse up
to the phone i sauntered
and my poshest greeting
Befell the anonymous caller
Before i could complete my verse
robotic foreign voice, monotone
“Hello misser krick, i is Ahmed,
i save u money on you telephone”
I said “looker here son,
do you really think you’ll sell,
when you cold call, this late at night
not a cats chance in hell”
The cheeky chappie
called me “racist”, i said “whoa just wait there”
Have you seen my brothers wife before
have you seen my Afro hair?
It’s not because of prejudice
why i verbally kick your rear
I wouldn’t even begin to listen
be from England, Pakistan or India
