Insatiable hunger drives me to enter
An exquisite insecurity oh so tender!
Aches and pains
Mentally drained
Dizzy and faint
Comfy and quaint
For me your body is the perfect abode
I live in luxury as your mind corrodes!
Expelled your charisma as I bored inside
Tearing you apart and still I hide.
Lacking focus
My magnum opus
For when you’re drained
I still remain.
Feel your heart sinking into your stomach
And through your thoughts I gleefully rummage!
Searching your dread for things to play with
For torturous toys used through the ages!
Weary flesh
Shortened breath
Jaded eyes
And a last goodbye.
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Awesome flow! Everything fit well while keeping the story going. Love it when poetry flows like this. Well done!
Thank you Jarid!
This is fantastic, brother! choice of words was mighty effective, and I had a tune in my head as I was reciting this piece. Great structure and excellent flow – therefore, excellent write!
Thank you Cyrus, I did put a lot of focus on rhythm in this poem!
don’t tell me you’ve been holding this inside you & didn’t let anyone know.. I’ve been away, but in the meantime you have evolved.. it’s fantastic, man! fantastic!
It’s been building longer than I’d like to admit, but today was especially painful. But yeah after a period of writers block I realized that the best way to find inspiration was to try different styles while also improving on my original! I’m glad that you’ve noticed my growth Nebojsa and I appreciate the feedback!
That ending, though..
“Weary flesh
Shortened breath
Jaded eyes
And a last goodbye.”
Yes!!! This was great. 🔥🔥
Thank you Jerome!