& so, here begins
A dream that has no end
Hailed by our fathers
As the triumph of reason
From where into abyss of thought
We descend
Machine, be our guide
& life – an act of treason
At a zero point
Towards future or past
We predict comfort
Though, spreading anxiety
Crowning every mainstream Jesus
Every war enthusiast
that’s carving the face of man
The surface of society
But who are they to try
To make new eyes
Not a brighter sky
To appease us
When we’re about to fall
Who are you to try
To replace the shine
Of a woman’s smile
With your distorted equality
& happiness for all
& who am I to lie
At the mercy of an all-seeing eye
What am I
To be subdued
So wrong, so frail, so small
’cause here we’ve began
A walk through days of mist
Through decades of trying
To force comprehension
But never found what’s inside
What we can’t resist
The road to hell contained
In every good intention
So, who were we to hide
Hands stained in blood
Eyes open wide
Who were we to decide
whose words were wrong
& who said we could guide
This world with others
To collide
As kings, sly & disguised
Still played along
With no wars justified
The sons of bastards are still standing strong…
N.B.
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Being competitive, as I am, I’m constantly comparing my word’s, my thoughts, my visions, to those I aspire to be in conversation with..
This is another piece that has me thinking; “Nothin’ I write compares to this.”
– – – –
“Who are you to try
To replace the shine
Of a woman’s smile
With your distorted equality
& happiness for all”
My God, bro. I want to think like you, for just an hour.. We’d blow the poetry world off it’s feet. – Excellent! ??
that part you quoted is exactly where the poem originally started.. so you just gave me an idea.. we’d have to find something that we can perceive in almost the same way, something that would get us both to feel it, & then “blow the poetry world off its feet” 😉 thanks so much for these words, man! :))))
I just read Rome’s United we stand and now yours and it echoes. I agree with him when he says that your way of thinking is unique. What’s even more unique is the music you make out of these thoughts. I’m a fan, and it ain’t gonna change.
then I’m not planning to stop making this music 😉
As I’ve said before, you’re one of the best poets out there. You inspire in such a way I don’t think you’re aware of. This is such a beautiful piece and each stanza stands out on its own. Another masterpiece painted here. I have nothing negative to say about this. Great job!
I have nothing to say, because I really don’t know how to thank you.. but I’m truly grateful for your words :))))
K see now I truly have to step up… This is truly unreal. Here I am picking your words apart and submerging myself in your narrative, and I can’t help but think that these ate new heights that I need to try and reach. What else is there to say? Absolute brilliance.
+1
I had these ideas in my mind for a while, but it was hard to express them.. I’m glad I managed to motivate.. thanks a lot.. to both of you 🙂
The language is fantastic as always. This one is a bit more of a challenge, I think I’ll need to read this a couple more times to get the full effect.
if I may help in any way.. the idea is centered around the so-called “triumph of reason” beginning with the Renaissance.. I wanted to emphasize the role of reason in forming a completely mechanized thought that rejected anything outside rationality.. basically the idea that it led to forming institutions that serve themselves instead of needs of humanity..
thanks for reading :))))