The only reason I cut my hair,
Was to make you stare.
It’s a sign of despair.
As the scissors clip while I sit in the chair
A silent scream for help
Walking down the hallways
With St. Brigid’s Cross on a necklace.
Being called a Nazi.
I’m not even religious.
I just did it to prove a point.
Sitting up on the roof at midnight
Wondering if I should jump.
Then realizing that it’d probably
Be better if I just give in
Rather that then give up.
I love the thought of sitting on the rooftop at midnight, just not to contemplate jumping off. The last two lines are both hopeful (rather that than give up) and sad (be better if I just give in). I really like the contrast and different point of view in those lines. For me, they make the poem. The only thing I was unsure about is the rhyming in the first stanza as it feels a bit forced. Anyway, another fine verse. I also like the reference to St Brigid’s cross, those made from rushes are cool.
You are correct about the forced rhyming. I wanted the last line of the first stanza to end abruptly. To stand out. Like everything else is so forced then it just stops. So it was intentional.
And yeah, I was trying to make the poem both sad and hopeful.! I’m glad that came across.
Thank you so much for the read!
The hungering for an attention that wasn’t going to be given (?) finally succumbing to the reality.. A beautiful poem in a sad, poignant way.
Are you referring to the cutting hair line? If so, that’s not about attention per say. It’s very common for people with mental illnesses especially depression to chop their hair off because they have given up on taking care of themselves.
ahhh I see. This goes much deeper than I thought. I’ll have to read it through again a few times!