*One Fourth

In an instant, I will stop this listening

burrowing into unknown wants

flashing this brilliant stupidity

breaking my balls on this rocky shore

mending and meddling in the fantastic

slogging through the door-stopped memories

barking up the right trees

but not knowing where the leaves are.

 

In an instant, I will find the missing key

unlock the subconscious thought

tear down the self defeating wallpaper

sink my teeth into my emotions

clang away at the silver bell

sort of scream to the inner

climb, climbing and slipping

put a quarter* in and try to grab the prize

with these mechanical claws.

 

In an instant, I will really know

I will really know why why

never stopping to explain or prophesy

ridicule or aggrandize

proselytize or lecture pedantic

scrutinize or figure out

stop to admire or fail to realize

skip the pretense or show my hand(s)

grab the steering wheel

or balance my act.

 

In an instant, water cool and clean

will wash me cunning in its transcendence

fulfilling in its calm, knowing

all the while sure and confident

unpackaged and unfettered

sublime in scope and idea

which is no idea nor any scope

and I will breathe fully and completely

it will fill me and cover me.

 

In an instant, the Giant Thing that is gone

was never there will show itself

to be what it is which is nothing

and the beauty the great big crystal clearness

of my nothingness will dissolve my opinions

disintegrate my vanity

and parade my skeletal remains

up and down this runway walking just so.

The stars that bear witness to this display

will applaud and snap pictures

laugh and talk about the weather.

 

And in an instant, death comes…I put in another quarter.*

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