this remains
to go
among the yellow grass
like a look
during the bridal month
reflected
and at that moment
forgotten
like a breath
over a long night
when you wake up
the morning to breathe
rain cloud
away from the garden
pure horizon
this remains
to go
among the yellow grass
like a look
during the bridal month
reflected
and at that moment
forgotten
like a breath
over a long night
when you wake up
the morning to breathe
rain cloud
away from the garden
pure horizon
I feel a concentrated attempt at word economy…that need to say as much as possible with as few words as possible. the last three lines somewhat jar the reader in a good way, and an intriguing last line.
Thank you very much, Gregory! I see your accumulated poetic and life experience. This makes your comments particularly valuable!