charismatic conflictions

misdirected misery
serenading me
soft spoken
so sweet
relishing in the dirt
drowning in concrete
my woes are obsolete
corresponding to say
i am weak
i will not speak
i bite my tongue out
replace it with more teeth
rotted and black
tar seeping out from underneath
torturous mind of mine
would you be so kind
throw me a dime
and restore the time
i have lost
perhaps i could find it
buried
as i walk
a lonely hallway
i cannot decipher the pictures
from mirrors
and i am in fear of
who she is
and can be
as though the black
wallowing in her eyes
is really a reflection
of the anger in mine
recovering the buried hate
or angst
as i rediscover the comfort
of drowning in my pain
or wading through every lie
that keeps me sane
as though the ripples
are not typhoons
destruction in my brain
i am frayed
withered
bitter
lonely
a song i am sick of singing
of listening
deflect my struggle
as i juggle your confuddled mine
reject mine
she does not think
and is always on the brink
of explosion
she promises daisies
and bottlefeeds poison
a sip will show
the deep ridicules
despicable of me
always deflecting
ignore to forget
and i will bathe in my lament
the smell of my heart
as it ferments
a soul so dormant
this is a warning
that i live in mourning
do not trust
or love
it is candy coated tragedies
that will haunt you
in your sleep
do believe this
and reject the emptiness
dark within my chest
i am nothing
a fleeting feeling
that will leave
once i am incapable
of dealing or reeling back
barricade yourself
before i attack
walk on myself and you
a dormant doormat
riddled by regret
or perhaps torment
discernment
draw the curtains
as i draw my blade
dig deeper in the skin
can’t you feel this
dismiss it
as i reminisce
empty
empty
empty
cannot fill a void
if it is consistently deepening
weakening my arms
battle ensues in
a glass heart
that is shattered and fractured
who could ever win
when the battleground is stretched
so thin
nowhere for a war to reside in
as it collides in my mind
dear god
i really am blind
discard of these eyes
and i will disregard
your tender fingers wrapped
round my inner thigh
i do believe that love is a lie
and i do believe i am not truly
alive

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