who i am

i am not who you think i am
maybe you think i am strong
emotionless and brutal
primal, just monster out for his own gain
or maybe you think im vain
caught up in my reflection
obsessed with others shapes
inspecting every curve and texture
or maybe you think im stupid
aimless, a stooge
only thinking about games and jokes and food
living life on autopilot
disregarding others
women trucks and booze
but the truth is
i am broken
yes the truth is
im barely a shell
the truth is
im just a coward
the truth is
my mind is my own hell
i am weak
i am small
small on the inside
im nothing at all
im merely a husk
a shell of a man
i curl in a ball
as far as ive ran
and tonight
ill cry myself to sleep
wont pray the lord my soul to keep
i beg the world to send my soul away into oblivion
i think of how i can bleed without anyone seeing
i think of how much i hate this shell im in
and whats worse than the shell lies deep within
i cry
because i hate my own hate
and i cry
because there’s no part of me i would leave behind
before i leave this world in kind
no aspect i would deem worthy
to spare my awful journey
down where i belong
down in the devils throng

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