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today i feel everything and nothing all at once
broken memories collect themselves in the pit of my stomach
spilling out between the gaps in my ribcage
leaking through the spaces like morning light through shutters left wide open
today i feel distant
today i feel lost
today i feel like the ground pushes against my feet
hot summer concrete branding its heat into the calloused soles of my feet
my imaginary feet
for i am everywhere and nowhere all at once
i exist in places that don’t exist
my metaphysical body breaks itself into pieces and spreads itself across vast scapes of nothing
searching for thoughts that i cannot reach
my bones position themselves between pages within forgotten bookshelves
my nonexistent bones
i run out of air more times than my lungs can inflate and deflate like round balloons
i run out of words more often than my invisible body solidifies and melts again in the undoing of my defeated mind
beaten with sticks
disfigured by rocks
diminished by mephitic smoke
the malodorous devil
entering my mythical body through any empty space it finds
cutting me open and flaying my brain into two broken halves
the right holds my desolation while the left cradles my emptiness
and perhaps it is this split within my body that rejects my will for omnipotence
and offers me defeat in a package tied with string
perhaps it is that this will does not exist
my fabled body deminishing itself into ashes spread across the universe
perhaps it is that i am not everywhere
and i am not nowhere
i am here
and i do not feel a thing

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3 Comments

  1. Damn..
    This was deep!

    Love the way you described the struggle to just be “alive”.

    Relatable, for sure.
    Well done.

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